A Couple Of Jokes

I was sent these jokes in email this week... You're not going to fall off your chair laughing, but they may make you smile...


An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees'!

'What powerful rivers'!

'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging towards him.


He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer ?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'

'Very Well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked 'Is my time up?'

God said, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.'

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.

She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth!

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, 'I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?'

God replied: "I didn't bloody recognize you."

Calling All UK Lady Bloggers

I had a message today via Facebook from a young lady. I don't know her but here's the message..

Hi there,

I found you via a blogging group and wondered if you could help me.

I am looking for UK based female bloggers to fill in a short online questionnaire. It is in aid of my final year Dissertation for University, which explores why people blog. I am really struggling to find female bloggers - it seems the majority are men! So if you do know anyone else that I could contact, I would be most grateful :)

I thought, why not, so I clicked the link and answered a few quick questions. It was nice and easy and you DO NOT have to leave any personal contact information unless you wish to..

So if you feel inclined, why not help her out by clicking HERE

Beware Of The Buds!!

A young boy was deaf for years and then suddenly, out popped a cotton bud and he was no longer deaf..

Amazing the Dr's didn't realise what this was, thinking it was just wax!

BBC NEWS | Wales | South West Wales | Deaf boy's cotton wool bud 'cure'

Well let this be a warning to those of us who use cotton buds to clean out our shell likes!

A Walk In The City Countryside

This weekend was turning into a bit of a lazy one. Which is fine to some extent as both my partner and I work hard all week, it's good to just do nothing sometimes.

But the weather was very nice today, bright and sunny, still chilly but not so cold to be unpleasant, so we went for a walk.

I wish we drove so we could get out of the city, into the countryside more often but as we don't we have to make do with local city countryside, which actually isn't all that bad.

I took these photos in Regents Park today, which is right in the middle of the city, and I think you could just about believe they were somewhere much more rural..

It's Gary!

Ever since watching the movie "Of Mice And Men" some years ago I was intrigued by Gary Sinise.









Lately he's in CSI: NY



And I'm still intrigued :)

My partner teases me about fancying him and I say I don't - but I do, just a bit - hehe

As If I Didn't Know...

You Are a Banana

You are mellow, easy going, and a total softie on the inside. People find it really easy to get along with you. You suit most tastes. And while you're very sweet, you're not boring or ordinary. You have an attraction to the exotic, and you could show up anywhere... doing almost anything! You are spirited, energetic, and a total kick to be around. You're also quite funny. Your sense of humor is on the goofy side, and it fits you well.

What Type of Fruit Are You?

(Spotted at Skittles Place)

Alphabet Tagging

Rule #1
Copy all the links below and replace a single link under the appropriate alphabet. If your domain name, or even the title of your blog, starts with an ” A,” you’d replace the link under that alphabet and put the replaced link at the bottom. Also, don’t forget to credit the tagger, or where you got the list from, at the end of the list with a full URL of the post so that a pingback gets generated.

1. alwaysbcmom.com
   
2. bloggingcents.com
3. caffeine-overload.com
4. delusionsofgrandeur.com
5. enjoyingtheride-jenn.blogspot.com
6. forumfinder.net
7. gotic-peach.net
8. happykeg.com
9. ipentimento.com
10. juliesjournal.com
11. kabalyero.com
12. ladybanana.co.uk
13. michaelpark.net
14. notjustmama.net
15. originalmx5.net
16. patrickdevivo.com
17. qweddings.com
18. rantingsofawoman.blogspot.com
19. shirleysdelight.com
20. thinking-outloud.com
21. utada-online.net
22. valmg.com
23. wickedbabylon.com
24. xaviermedia.com
25. yimto.com
26. zbudapest.com

Replaced link: ladylike4.com
Previous tagger: alwaysbcmom.com

Rule #2You now have to “tag” at least five people and encourage them to participate so that this thing spreads like a virus. Remember, though, that not everyone’s into these kinds of things, so don’t be upset if they don’t participate. Just simply replace your tag. Remember to tag blogs only and no pornographic ones as we do want to keep the integrity as a blogging community. TIP: Tag your frequent EntreCard droppers via its messaging system.

I'm tagging:
Siani
Laura
DrowseyMonkey
Daisy
Bill

Rule #3 Just like any other “meme” out there, ask a question for your taggees to answer along with your own answer to your previous question. This is optional.———–END HERE—————-

Well after all that hard copying/pasting I'm sure we can do without the question! I also hope I've done this right!

My Adventure In The Arabian Desert

Two weeks ago today was one of the best days I've had. We were in Dubai visiting my son, who that day hired a 4x4 car for us to go off roading in the mountains.

I was so excited as we drove along, out of Dubai itself, through Sharjah, Ras Al Khaimah, and onwards, the mountains came into view, it was like another world after the hustle and bustle of the last few days.

We had our passports ready as we were planning to go through Oman. As we approached the border guards, there was a long queue and several cars were turning back. Not long before we realised a lot of people were being denied access to pass through. We waited patiently, but sadly we also were told or rather just gesticulated at to turn round, to go back.

At this point I was rather disappointed, however my son has a book of alternative routes and places to go. So instead of going through the mountains we decided to go into the desert.

It was a long drive, part way back the way we had come and then onto another route. As we drove along we saw camels in the distance, I was hoping to see some a lot closer up!

When we eventually got off the road I was completely amazed at the beauty of the desert, the sand dunes rising up, all rippled and seemingly untouched as the sand had hidden all traces of those that had been there before.



I couldn't wait to get out of the car and just run freely up the dunes, such a sense of vastness, a sense of freedom, we couldn't see another living creature and the silence - well that was something you never experience in the city even in the dead of night!



My partner found what we believe to be some old camel bones!



As there had been a few showers in the past week the sand dunes seemed quite firm, so my son decided to drive right up a dune - BIG mistake...

When we decided to move on we realised we were STUCK! The sand just clogged up around the back wheels and the more he revved up the engine the deeper the tyres dug in.

I was laughing so much, here we were in the desert with no one else in sight and not much clue what to do. That's where the camel bones came in useful.. I tried digging us out with one, but it wasn't much help!



Whilst we were all busy digging, still laughing, getting a teeny bit worried an Arab guy appeared just (it seemed) out of nowhere. He spoke no English, but recognised our predicament and bought out a rope which he tied from his car to ours.



Unfortunately the rope snapped as soon as it became taught! The Arab man drove off into the distance leaving us there, still stuck, with a rope dangling uselessly off the back.

A bit more digging, a bit more forceful, desperate effort, on my sons part and amazingly the car suddenly shot forward.

We were free, we could move on, we wouldn't die of thirst and hunger and cold in the desert after all!!

We drove down the dune in the direction the Arab guy had gone, we felt we should give him back his rope. As we approached where he had parked we saw there was quite a little group of men.



They were out with their falcons. Some birds were resting on little posts in the ground, some were eating (poor) little chicks and some were flying, swooping down for the meat that one of the guys was swinging around on a rope for him.













We stayed and watched for sometime, although none of these men seemed to speak any English they were very friendly and gave us water to drink.

We then decided to press on and continue our journey, I still wanted to see camels up close!

Didn't have to wait long, I leaped out of the car and took photos, they growled a bit and I was very brave..lol







We drove on, but then noticing the sun was starting to go down we realised we should turn for home, didn't want to be out there in the dark, can only imagine how pitch black dark it would in fact be!

As we drove back we saw other camels, racing camels, being led in groups.







As the sun went down that evening I felt I'd really had the best day ever!









All photo's best viewed large..

To see the whole photoset of this day go HERE

My Daughters Music - Not So Bad

When my eldest daughter was last home she asked me to download some music for her....

Last weekend I was having a bit of a clearout on the computer and I came across her music. I'd never heard of this guy before so thought I may as well have a listen, and guess what, it's not so bad...

Always a good idea to keep an open mind!

Torn On The Platform by Jack Penate

Reading And Not Stressing

Now been back to work for 2 days and my holiday is now in the distant past.

I was warmly greeted back at work by my colleagues which was very nice, however the mountain of work waiting for me wasn't so nice.

From now on I am determined to not let it stress me out as it usually does. I didn't make any resolutions for the new year but this one is as good as any and has just kind of crept up on me, so I think, hope it's realistic and lasting!

I've started a new book and it's quite un-put-down-able. Not because it's an exciting mystery, a romantic love story, but because it's a real life diary of a real life woman with breast cancer.

"My Mummy Wears A Wig - Does Yours?" is written in such a natural everyday humorous language it's like chatting with a friend - so on that note, I'm off to spend the rest of the evening with my dear friend Michelle Williams-Huw

It's All About Chocolates And Sweeties

Received this in email today - a little (lot) rude, but oh so sweet!

(It maybe some of the sweetie names are particular to UK - I'm not sure)






Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight.

She was from Quality Street he was a Fisherman's Friend.

On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she

had a Wine Gum.

He asked her name, "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said.

"I'm the one with the nuts," he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way.

They checked in to a hotel, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury

turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic.

It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her

Cream Egg. He fondled her Flap Jacks then he showed her his Curly Wurly

and Tic Tacs.

Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take

a trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring. He was pleased as

he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a magic moment as she let out a

scream of Turkish Delight.

When he pulled out, his fun size Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie.

She wanted more, but he needed Time Out, however, he noticed her Pink

Wafers looked very appetizing. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her

Sherbet Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper!

Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel.

Sadly, 3 days later his Magnum lolly started to drip. It turned out Miss

Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who had Allsorts!!!

Depressed Today?

Today, Monday 21st January is known as Blue Monday. The most depressing day of the year, with the highest number of suicides.

Around now is the time when the monotony of the year starts to set in as all the festivities are a distant memory.

The credit card bills come pouring in forcing us to face up to how much we actually overspent for those good times.

The weather is frequently un-relentlessly grey and miserable.

New Year resolutions have often gone by the wayside, leaving us with a sense of failure.

SO! Is it a Blue Monday for you? Or are you having a good day?

The Sky news report highlights the fact that if we consider it to be a blue day day then it will be, so we must try to do something positive in order to make us feel good. Don't let a few hiccups make it a bad day.

The report also suggests you "smile at everyone you meet". Now that could be fun! Why not try it and let us know how you got on, could be some funny stories ahead! Not sure if I'll try it myself though, living where I do they'd probably think I was a nutter!

Strange Sunday

Watching, originally uploaded by LadyBanana.

Been an odd day today. Not been able to get on with anything really. No ones fault but mine though.

It's the last day of my holiday, back to work tomorrow. At least Monday is only a short day, I don't start till 3pm.

I'm not looking forward to it, getting back in the routine of drudgery, wishing my life away longing for the next weekend..

I'm sure I'd get a little bored from time to time if I wasn't working but I think I could deal with that if I had a few bob, yep, there's the problem - money! No work, no money! Oh well...

So today I've been fiddling around with photo's as the weather has been too awful to get out and take any new ones.

I wish I was good at photo editing. Part of my partners job is working with Photoshop so he's pretty much an expert. He has occasionally given me a few "lessons" but my memory is poor and I need to write it all down step by step.. It's then I realise he's getting bored, so I give up.

I know there are plenty of online tutorials if I could be really motivated to do them. Maybe in some ways I like just tinkering and seeing what happens!

Well it's now just after 9pm but it feels much much later - very strange. So I think I'll go to bed, I've got a new book to start. I'll probably blog about that sometime as well..

LIVE From The 21st Floor!

I know I'm a soppy mother but I was very amused seeing the live webcam from my sons office in Dubai.

It's not directed on his desk but still it's nice seeing exactly where he is (we didn't get the chance to have a look round when I was there)

Maybe I'll catch sight of him passing through one day... OK I know that makes me a real saddo..

Thirsty Monkey? (Don't watch if easily offended!)

This certainly caused some shocked laughter amongst the crowd!!

The Best Nando's Meal

I really enjoy eating Nando's chicken here in UK. When I saw they had one in Dubai I was very pleased!

Some things on the menu were slightly different and I made my order, can't remember what it was called, but it was something we don't have in London.

When it arrived I was even more pleased. It looked delicious and tasted even more yummy. The chicken was hanging on a skewer over a plate of roasted veggies, and I can say I had the most enjoyable meal.

Another thing I wish they had in UK!!

Nice Matters Award

Today is a great day for awards!!!

Just been awarded Nice Matters Award by Siani from Siani's Pot-Pourri - thank you Siani :)

I now should be passing this on to other bloggers now. Just about all the blogs I read and the bloggers that read mine are nice, so it's difficult to choose.

So I pass it on to all my NICE readers - you know who you are!

You Cheer Me Up

I've been awarded the You Cheer Me Up Award by Anna from Beth & Cory's Mom. Thank you Anna.

It's such a great feeling to know my blog cheers Anna up, as does her blog cheer me up, being one of the first ones I read when I open my Google Reader! So really I'd like to pass it back to Anna, but seeing as she already has it I'll pass it on to five others as well!

A Boatwomans Diary

Siani's Pot-Pourri

Beth Allen

Daisy The Curly Cat

Mom Knows Everything

MyBlogLog Verification

MyBlogLog has started the process of asking site owners to verify their blogs, see HERE

So I have created this post for that purpose. The alternative way was to add some code into the HTML, but I'm feeling too lazy to do that today, too much fiddling around, lol


Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

Have You Linked Me?

Just added this little widget to my left hand sidebar. It shows the last 5 sites to have linked to my blog..

Is your site there? lol

Craving Some Fire!

Whilst I was away I had a pack of these..

Don't think I can get them in UK, which is a shame, they were yummy!

Tired At The Museum

Since returning from Dubai I have not really felt myself. Nothing specific really, just an overwhelming tiredness which I can't seem to get rid of even though I have been sleeping well.

But as I'm off work this week I also wanted to do some of the things I had originally planned to do. One of these was visiting the newly refurbished London Transport Museum.

It's not far on the bus to get there, we spent less than 2 hours looking round and taking some photos, then went for a little walk in the area, by which time I was more than ready to get home again - quite unlike me, but never mind I'm sure it will pass eventually.

B-List Blogger!

Click the image and see what your blog is!

(I did this sometime last year and was D Listed.. so there's been some improvement - hehe, I'm pleased!)

Save Scrabulous!!

I've always enjoyed playing Scrabble, even though I rarely win. Sometimes I play it online in Facebook where it's known as Scrabulous.

However it's now under threat as it's a violation of copyright. That's such a shame as it has such a following, with 1000's of games played daily.

If you enjoy the game and have Facebook you can join the Save Scrabulous Group

For full story at BBC click image below -

BBC NEWS | Technology | Facebook asked to pull Scrabulous

Dubai Underwater

Whilst I was in Dubai last week the weather wasn't the best, there were quite a few showers and the sky was frequently overcast. I was actually a little disappointed, but today my son messaged me that it's become a LOT worse. They now have suffered very heavy rain and flooding. As it rains there so infrequently the drainage system has been unable to cope.

So in reality, last week wasn't too bad at all!

Gulfnews: Agony continues as relentless rain floods the roads

I'm A Blogorian

I read about Blogoria on Annas blog. As I am a compulsive joiner I thought I'd give it a go.

It's another site which enables you to find other blogs of interest and of course for others to find your blog.

Once you've joined you can pick a channel which most interests you and add the RSS feed to your reader. I added the personal blogs feed so now I get posts from other sites labelled as personal appearing and already I have come across some interesting new blogs.

I'm not very good at explaining this site, so why not take a look over there and perhaps join as well! If you do, please feel free to add me to your network.

Photos Of Dubai

I am so tired today. I could never be one of those people who regularly travel as it really takes it out of me.

Thankfully I have the rest of the week off!

I've now uploaded the holiday photos, there are a lot of them but I hope you'll have a bit of a browse through them either here on the slideshow or on Flickr

I'm Back From.....

DUBAI!!!

Just spent 7 wonderful amazing days in Dubai, visiting my son and celebrating my half century birthday. (Shhhh, let's keep that bit quiet!)

Got back last night and right now I'm sorting out the photos we took, over 1000!

We had a really busy 7 days, seeing the top most popular sites, it's truly an amazing city, even though it's still much of a building site with more cranes than you'd see anywhere in the world. Also the weather was not that brilliant, it's was mostly overcast, quite a bit of rain and not particularly warm.

My son had lots of time off work to chauffeur us around and show us the best (and worst) of Dubai.. He was a wonderful guide and I'm so grateful to him as he made it the best holiday ever!

I will be uploading my photos to Flickr soon.. and no doubt I'll be posting more about my adventures!

I Am Not In Uk

Can you guess where I am?

All to be revealed in a few days!

(Posting from an iPod touch)

Back Seat Blogging

I've got a lot going on at the moment here at home and work so for a little while I feel that blogging is going to take a bit of a back seat.

I don't really want it to, but I don't have the energy or motivation to blog or even be online that much.

I hope this wont last long...

Off to make a nice strong cuppa and read my book - it's pretty good..

New Look For New Year

Well not quite..

I've been having a bit of a Stumble this evening and stumbled upon Hairmixer..

Just the kind of thing I can't resist having a play with, not sure about being a blonde though!

Health Is Wealth

Well here we are at the start of a lovely new year.

I saw the New Year in here at home with my partner watching the fireworks on tv. I rarely go out New Years Eve, it's either ridiculously expensive to get in anywhere or too cold and crowded to be standing about outside. Nothing nicer than being warm and cosy at home I think!

So, now many of us I'm sure have begun the year with good intentions of giving up this and starting that.

I've not made any resolutions as such as they never last anyway.

I think the most important thing is too look after ourselves, eat as healthily as we can, keep active, I wouldn't necessarily say do loads of exercise but keeping active is good, get plenty of sleep and not overindulge in the "bad" things!

I neither drink or smoke, but I do have a terrible weakness for chocolate and goodies like that!

Hopefully those few things will help maintain health, as without health all the wealth in the world is quite useless, and that includes mental health. So many people suffer with anxiety, depression and related problems that it completely renders them useless to enjoy life.

I don't like the way some people wish others a prosperous new year as if money is all it's about.

So I prefer to wish everyone a healthy new year, both physically and mentally, that then gives us the basis to attain and enjoy more of what we like and to be happy.

So, here's hoping you, all my lovely readers, stay healthy, happy and have a wonderful 2008!