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I Wish To Hand In My Resignation
My two daughters have been home from uni since early June, that's well over a month now.
They came home with the usual piles and boxes of stuff which are stacked up in the hallway of our tiny home.
It's such a depressing horrible sight to wake up to every morning, to have to squeeze past it everytime I need something from the wardrobe which is kind of situated behind this "stuff".
This morning I've just been in a grouchy "wanna throw everything out" mood, but I know I can't so it's very difficult having to face the fact that it's going to be like this for at least another 2 months.
Most of the time I can just about deal with overlooking it but sometimes it just get's on my bleedin nerves.
Especially when my girls who are now 20 and 25 behave like 12 or 14 year olds, in that they do NOT lift a finger to help here and when asked to do so whine on and on or complain that I am moaning too much.
Never mind there isn't a plate, knife, fork or spoon clean in the house.
Never mind the bannisters have been turned into makeshift wardrobes with jumpers cardigans and who knows what hanging over them.
Never mind there are no less than 17 pairs of shoes to climb over when walking in through the front door.
Never mind there are empty packets and boxes, tissues and bottles of water all over the place.
Oh I could go on and on and in fact I was thinking of taking some photos of this almighty mess but didn't, it's just too awful.
My partner and I have spent a lot of time clearing up yet again, and the girls, well they said they'll help "later"! When is this "later" I wonder?
They luckily both have summer jobs which is a credit to them but that does not give them the right to behave this way... I work full time as does my partner.
I run around like an idiot on mornings when I am working late to get things done, the girls, well they watch TV before they go to work.
I come home tired from a long day at work and am expected to cook dinner for everyone, the girls, well they "are too tired to do anything" and usually call when they are on the bus home to ask what's for dinner.
I hate moaning but I'm darn sure if they played their part in this home then I wouldn't have to and life would be a lot more pleasant for all of us.
Tomorrow I'm working later than one of the girls, maybe I should call home and ask what's for dinner... But I know I'd get a negative answer..
Do kids (young adults) ever realise that all this is not fair on Mum?
I just wish I could hand in my resignation on this job, I've been in it for over 27 years now and enough is enough!!!
21 COMMENTS, SO FAR, ADD YOURS :):
I'm sorry. :( I wish I had advice but I have a 9 and 12 year old so I have no idea what to do about adult kids. When mine act like that I ground them, lol.
Maybe you should put your foot down set some rules after all the are adults and they are staying under your roof. Tell them they should help out it is not fair to leave it all on you. It is one thing to pick up and take care of them when they are kids but now they are all grown up and it is time to share the duties. I hope this does not offend you. I hope it all works out for you.
I say run away for a weekend and let them take care of themselves.
Oh dear! Poor you! I understand exactly what you are going through, I have two boys 25 and 22, so I feel your pain :(
I'm not sure what the solution is - maybe letting them read what you have written, talking to them about it and hoping that they feel guilty enough to change. I wouldn't hold your breath though...
Or you could sit down with a nice glass of something alcoholic, think calm thoughts - and then give them a good bollocking!
However, just think how much you miss them when they aren't there and how soon that time will come again...
Gotta have a 'showdown' I reckon.
Luckily I have the TG who never let anything go from the start ...... including my behaviour - tee hee.
I'm afraid to say that I reckon kids don't get civilised until they are at least 30 unless you are very lucky ......... sorry.
Well - I guess I know how you feel. My son keeps his messes in his part of the house but my daughter - she still has "stuff" stacked in the living room and has an end table that has become her spot to drop whatever she has to drop.
I asked her last night if it's some kind of condition she has - that as soon as she sets something down, she has to leave it there for some reason.
She does do the dishes sometimes without my asking, but yeah - it would be nice if things were more neat around here.
I feel your pain.
I feel your pain. I'm sure my 23 year old is convinced I'm a wallet with feet. A wallet that refills itself by picking bills off the backyard money tree.
ah mate i feel your pain. its bad now. i dont think i will bear it when mine are older!
I'm sorry you are having such an experience. I don't have children of my own but I do know how exhausting it is and how fed up you can get.
As lapa37 says, you should put your foot down and set some rules. After all, it is your house. I think the important thing is that they need to realise their responsibilities and to see that you're not getting any younger to pick after them.
I'm away from my parents now but whenever I call them and they tell me they have just finished cleaning the house it hurts me that I am not there to help.
I hope your daughters will feel the same way soon too.
My kids are 14 and 3, I don't want to even think about them getting older. :o(
I know just how you feel... I have 2 teenage boys at home and they think iam there taxi driver and slave.
Thank god i get away at weekends to stay with my partner in Cambridge.
Why can't you throw their stuff into their bedroom(s) to get it out of the way?
And why do you have to make them supper every night?
Can you tell I'm not a parent?! Ha!
Yeah, it's a weird transition age when "adult" kids come home and fall back into their child-like behaviour. To be fair, if they were staying at a friend's parent's house they wouldn't be like that ... but they're home so they fall into bad old behaviours.
I know ... I was once one of those kids! Until I finally figured out ... oh, I'm an adult "visiting" another adult's home. I guess I should act like an adult! LOL
Uh oh. I'm the adult daughter who got ill and had to move back in with MY mother. The only good news for her is that I only wear flip-flops, so there's only two pairs of shoes for her to trip over ;) This post is a good reminder for me to keep doing my share!
It must be awful for you.
I don't have children, but I remember, before I left home, that it was my dad that ticked us girls off, so we were always quite tidy. I remember him tripping over one of our handbags every now and then, and saying things like "Do you have to have these things all over the place. We would very quickly tuck it out of sight ;O)
We kept everything in our bedrooms, which was just as well. We were a large family.
Could you not talk to them 'woman to woman' and tell them just how you feel? Wouldn't they then see that they could alleviate some of your stress?
That sounds very stressful and frustrating. I'd be upset too. I can't stand things piled up in my house, especially if they're not MY things.
I'm sorry, Lady B. I'd want to quit too. I totally understand.
I don't have kids but this is my though ... do they pay rent? Maybe you could tell them that you love them, enjoy their visit etc, but they are grown up now and need to take responsibility, and pay rent especially since they are not pulling their own weight. Otherwise they need to find their own place by the end of the week (example). (be specific on date.) You then could add that if they did the dishes for a day that you would reimburse (add monetary value) in rent. If they vacuumed reimburse --- money. De-cluttered the hallway reimburse --- money in rent. So on until if all the cleaning, and cooking was done it would be a lot less. That would give them a good incentive.
It would take some planing writing down what you want done, and giving it a $ value. You would have to get some money up front from them so they see that you mean business. ...Just a thought... If you set things up right you might not have to do any cooking, or cleaning at all. ;o)
ARGHHHHHHHHHH same here !! in fact I felt exhausted reading your post, it sounded like me. Put your feet up and look totally blank at mealtime when they ask what's for supper, then smile your largest smile and tell them you haven't given it a second thought as you have been far too busy !! xx
Oh no, I was hoping that they grow out of the lazy, messy, irresponsible stage. When does that happen? Sounds like you're still waiting.
I think when my kids move out, I'm changing the locks and not letting them back in!
You poor dearie.. but like daddy papasurfer said.. perhaps it's time for a showdown and putting your foot down kinda thing.. I know a mother too that has a 30 and 32 year old daughters that she still pick up after! No fun!
Good luck ya a:)
Eek ... I am a 29 year old ho still lives at home .. I do pay rent (which is akin to the going rate for the area), but I do also take my mum for granted. She coks my dinner, makes my packed lunches and generallly runs around after me .. and I do feel bad .. honest!
I have tried offering my help a few ties and have always had a negaive answer - perhaps i am asking on the wrong days!
On behalf of all 'kids' that still live at home (full time or just for the holidays) I am sorry ..truly.
You need to get a grip and put them straight, they are nothing but lazy and they need telling so, you have rights too. Show them this post, ,maybe they will have a think about what they are doing.Mick...
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